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Have you ever felt rejected?

Writer's picture: Tracie TackettTracie Tackett



One particular Sunday, I struggled to get ready and go to church. Have you ever been there?


Thoughts swirled around in my head. I blew it this week. I said things I didn't mean. The words I heard spoken to me and the words I said back cut deep and brought a flood of tears. Trying to regulate and center my soul seemed impossible.


The days and weeks leading up to that Sunday had been incredibly difficult. It felt like I was in a fog at times, searching for answers.


I love the church. I love being at church. I knew I couldn't walk into church a crying mess. I felt this need to get myself together or appear as if I had it all together. (This wasn't true, but it felt true.) If someone were to ask how I was doing, I was prepared to say, "Great!" Just walk in the door and smile as if everything in my world is together. But the story I was living on the inside was quite different.


In reality, I felt rejected, hurt, lost, and just plain mad — there, I named it. I longed for a place that would welcome me in all my mess and brokenness. I needed some “ugly cry” time with God, time where I could let out all my emotion and tell Him, I’m so sorry, God… I have completely blown it lately.


Time for church came, and I decided I would go despite the struggle happening within me. Walking in, I began to look around. Honestly, I didn't want to talk to anyone. As I sat down and took a deep breath, I began to wonder what story each person around me walked in with. Our sanctuary was full — full of people with stories.


What did they walk in with on this particular Sunday? What was their week like? What was their life like? Were they hurting? What did they need this particular morning?


My inner voice convinced me I wasn't welcome here. I started paying attention to what was playing in my head and heart. It almost kept me from coming.


"Paying attention to what we are paying attention to is the most important spiritual practice."

Curt Thompson


In our busyness, sometimes narratives begin playing in our minds that we aren't aware of: I don’t feel welcome here. What happened to this friendship? Why didn’t I get the job? And on and on. Taking time to pause is a beautiful invitation — but I didn't say it was easy.


I’ve recently been asking myself: What stories are playing all around me? The Church is made up of broken people with broken stories. I wonder how many times this narrative keeps us from coming, from showing up, from being in community with God's people who are just like us… people longing to feel His presence, longing to come just as they are, to hear Him say,"I am glad you are here. I have been waiting for you."


As I glanced up to where our pastor was, I wondered what it would be like if Jesus was just sitting there, relaxed, welcoming us just as we are. I believe He is here. I believe He is everywhere. I believe He is waiting for us to show up.


Our pastor began to read from Matthew: "As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. ‘Follow me,’ he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him" (Matthew 9:9 NIV).


Jesus saw Matthew in all his brokenness. Don't skip over that part... Jesus saw. He sees me and you, too. HE SEES US! He met Matthew right where he was and had an invitation for him: "Follow me."


Could He do the same for me and you? Could He see us and invite us? He invited Matthew out of his brokenness and sin. He called him by name to a relationship that would give him a new path and freedom from his old path.


That Sunday at church, I prayed, "Lord, following you today meant that I mustered enough courage to come into this sanctuary. I long for forgiveness. Here I am. All of me."


With God, we go from an invitation to a table… the dinner table!


"While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’” (Matthew 9:10-11 NIV).


After Matthew's invitation to come and follow, Jesus gathered people around a table for dinner. He loved the table. Ministry happened here, and nourishment did, too.


Tax collectors, sinners, Pharisees, disciples — they were all having dinner together. That sounds a lot like me and everyone around me that particular Sunday at church, and every Sunday. It was a gathering of messy, broken people in need of a personal Savior named Jesus, who brought them around a table and invited them to follow Him.


They were asking questions just like we do when things don't make sense. Jesus responded to them, saying, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners”” (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV).


He looked at them and reminded them that they are the ones He came to save!


In Brennan Manning's book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, he shares, "the ragamuffins discovered that sharing a meal with Him was a liberating experience of sheer joy. He freed them from self-hatred, exhorted them not to confuse their perception of themselves with the mystery they really were, gave them what they needed more than anything encouragement for their sheer lives-and delivered reassuring words....."


We are the ragamuffin crew! You and me. He welcomes us — all of us. He welcomes our stories. There are no surprises for Him. He was there. He's in our stories with us, and has been all along.


He calls us by name to follow Him.


On that Sunday, I finally felt His presence welcoming His children, the ragamuffin crew. He wanted to confront the narrative that was swirling around in my soul… rejection. He said, "I have a different story for your rejection. It's about a relationship with me."


Have you ever felt rejected? Rejection causes the soul to run and hide. To isolate. To fear. To play the shame game. But He welcomes our rejection because He, too, has felt rejection. He wants to exchange rejection for a relationship.


I need God's presence. I need the church — His people, my family. That day, they invited me to a different story than the one that had been playing in my soul… one of hope, healing, and redemption. That's the story of Jesus. That's His Church. I’m glad I didn't stay home that day, and I’m grateful for God's Word. I’m thankful to come as I am and encounter God incarnate — Jesus, the Son of God.


He reminds every single one of us, "I am glad you are here. I have been waiting for you."


Feeling rejected? Talking to someone can help us sort out what’s happening in our heart and mind and hear God's gentle whispers of hope. As a trained spiritual companion, I walk with others in their spiritual journey right where they are. I would love for you to reach out so we can chat and learn how it might benefit you.

Click here for a free consultation to learn more about a spiritual companion.



I invite you to practice a Holy Pause this week.

Take a few minutes to Pause. Pray. Follow.


Pause to notice what is going on in and around you. Jesus is with you.


Take a deep breath. Grab your journal, take a walk, or draw. Do whatever helps you feel connected to God.

What is playing in your mind and heart? Give it words. Name it.

Mine was… rejection.

What did you walk in with at church? Maybe you aren't even going anymore. What was your week like? What is your life like? Are you hurting?


Pray to invite the Lord into a conversation.

Open your hands. Listen. Notice. Is there any resistance? What is coming up for you? Do you need to repent?


"Lord, I want to sit at your table. I come feeling rejected, but your Living, Breathing, and Active Word invites me to a different story, a beautiful one. A relationship."


(Please read these verses slowly and allow God to speak to you!)


"As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

For it stands in Scripture: ‘Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a cornerstone chosen and precious, and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame."

1 Peter 2:4-6 ESV


"For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake."

1Thessalonians 1:4-5 ESV


Jesus knew what it was like to be rejected and to feel rejected. We can give our feelings of rejection a new story. We can exchange them. He IS our Cornerstone, CHOSEN AND PRECIOUS! He reminds us that we are LOVED and CHOSEN, too. Let that sink in. He is building something in us — a spiritual house, acceptable to God through Jesus! We don't have to choose shame or rejection.


Follow and help me go where you go.

What resonates with you from this Holy Pause? Highlight it.


Take the next step. Is it counseling or a spiritual companion? You can even join a group to journey with others. Discernment Groups are a great way to journey with others.

Spend time memorizing 1 Peter 2:4-6 or

1 Thessalonians 1:4-5.


What will you begin to practice this coming week? Remember, He is with you!

Notice the story playing inside your mind, and give yourself a new story — one based in truth. Follow Him in the next step. Remember, you are Chosen and Precious!


Finding beauty in the small things, 

Tracie Tackett

Spiritual Companion

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